It's Official

Taken at Senior Frogs, Cancun, Quintana Roo, Mexico. Hence the balloon hat. (At least it's not red and purple yet!)

Circus People

You guys HAVE to see this.

This is Ben, my sister Shauna's baby. He was 18 months when they shot this video. In my opinion, he is a freakin' genius!



I KNOW, right?

Less Trouble in Paradise

Sometimes less is more. And sometimes the less that is more is bad.

We head out to Cancun on Monday. Peyton is spending the week with Grandma in Oklahoma City. We met the grandparents in Joplin and Peyton got in their car and left, with me standing there in the Bob Evans parking lot trying not to cry. Having never ever been away from him all night before, this evening has been a challenge. Monte kept bringing me chocolate and iced tea lemonades this week to soften the eventual blow, but I guess I'll have to work through tonight's bedtime all on my own.

There is an upside to having one less kid though. Suddenly, I feel like I can do anything. Really. Like, we went into a Best Buy just now and I actually shopped. I saw what they had in the way of retail merchandise, considered options and was able to thoughtfully select some items based on those options. My two older children played docilely in the video game aisle without moving from the general gaming vicinity, which was easily observable from most areas of the sales floor. I didn't need a cart, I didn't have to corral anyone, I was able to thoroughly consider what I was about to do before I did it, the whole time. I didn't have to talk over anyone, there was no yelling, I didn't have to wipe anyone, I didn't have to soothe or comfort anyone while trying to find someone else. And most of all, when I left, I knew what was in my bag and where my purse was. The amount of physical stress in my life if you're just going off today, has been greatly reduced. Emotional stress? Off the charts. We'll see what Monday and the airport brings.

(I'll bet that Michelle Duggar lady in Arkansas says stuff like that when she only has to look after six kids instead of 18. I'm such a wimp.)

Goodnight, punk-y punk, out there under the Oklahoma sky. I miss your little face so bad. Sleep well. Have good dreams. And tomorrow, go through all the kitchen drawers and find each and every one of grandma's measuring cups and big spoons, and spread them all over the living room and bathroom floors. Just to make it home.

Spanglish

Aunt Shauna speaks Spanish. We're going to Cancun in a week and a half. You'd think this would be the ideal time for Shauna to teach us some of what she knows. You would be very very wrong. The following e-mail is what I got when I asked for some handy Spanish phrases for the monolingual traveler. Shauna clearly does not have our best interests at heart, although she did throw in phonetic phrasing so we'd be able to pronounce our doom clearly.
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Handy Spanish Phrases

1. Get out of here! I’m watching TV! (Mason’s request)
Salga de aqui! Estoy mirando la tele! [Sal guh day ah key! Es toy meer ahn doe lah tay lay!]

2. Let’s go to the beach! Vamos a la playa! [Vah moes ah la plie ah!]

3. I think the maid stole my money. Creo que la criada me robo de mi dinero. [Cray oh kay la kree ah dah may row bow day me dee nare oh.]

4. That stuff looks cheap and I don’t want to buy it. Sus cosas se me parece barato y no quiero comprarlas. [Soose koe sahs say may pah ray say bah rah toe E no key air oh comb prahr lahs.]

5. Come on in. I’m naked in the shower. Usted puede entrar. Estoy desnudo/desnuda (depending on if you’re a boy or girl saying it—a for girl, o for boy) en la ducha. [Ooh stead pway day in trar. Es toy dace nood ah in la doocha.]

6. Where is the bathroom? The food was not very good. It’s an emergency! Donde esta el bano? La comida estaba mal. Es una emergencia! [Dohn day es tah el banyo? La coe mee dah ace tah bah mahl. Ace oonah ah mare hence E ah!]

7. I brought lots of money and I’m ready to spend it! Traje mucho dinero y estoy listo/lista (depending on boy or girl) para gastarlo! [Trah hay moo cho dee nare oh E es toy leese toe pah rah gas tar low!]

8. I’m an American. You should treat me like royalty! Estoy Americano/Americana (boy or girl). Debe tratarme como derechos. [Es toy Ah mare E kahn O. Day bay trah tar may coe moe day ray chos!]

9. I want another room. This one smells like a dead animal. Quiero otro cuarto. Este cuarto huele como un animal muerto. [Key air oh oh troh kwahr toe. Ace tay kwahr toe hway lay coe moe oon ahn E mahl mwair toe.]

10. I lost my wallet and I will do anything for 50 dollars. Se me perdio mi dinero y hare qualquier cosa para cincuenta dolares. [Say may pear dee oh me dee nair oh E R ay kwal key air coe suh pah rah sin kwin tah doe lair ace.]
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The subject line in this e-mail said "Let me know if there are any others you want to know." Why yes, Shauna, how about, "My sister is a complete dork and gave me these phrases because she is secretly jealous of my brains and beauty. Also my sister is beginning to act just like her madre." Ha, that last one'll get her!

Camp Half-Mud

This is beautiful Camp NeOTez in scenic DeSoto, Missouri. It's a picturesque setting with lovely accommodations, and the locals are all kinds of friendly. As it is the rainy season in beautiful DeSoto, each and every single thing within the confines of camp is covered in mud. This includes, but is not limited to, clothes, towels, shoes, children, motor vehicles and unused toothbrushes.
Speaking of the locals, here they are in all their finery. This is some sort of tribal custom called a camp sing a long. It is used to lull parents of small children into accepting offerings of hot dogs and punch, and to distract them from exclaiming "what have you done with my child, and what is that large mud covered thing you are giving me instead?!?!" Do not be alarmed. The mud covered thing is indeed your child.
This is Marco. I think he was the upper bunk to Stephen's lower bunk, although I'm not entirely sure. I'm not convinced they slept in their bunks, although the beds had mud in them, so I guess the children at least laid down. As I said, it was very stormy and muddy, and at one point all of the children were covered in shaving cream. And mud. There is still some mud on Stephen's face. You can see it in the photo. Marco's face is clean. Sigh.
These are the good natured counsellors at Camp NeOTez, cabin 4. Stephen got to know them very very well. They are blood brothers. One for all and all for one. If one is captured, the other one goes back for him, because you never leave a man behind, and so on. When I asked Stephen about this picture, he pointed to the kid behind him and said "That's uh, Jimmy." Then he pointed to the other guy and said "I don't remember his name." That's six year old loyalty for you.

I was worried when we dropped Stephen off Sunday night, he might get nervous or be concerned. This was his first overnight camp. He's only six. He was there for 48 whole hours. What if he got scared or needed his mom? After a tense three hour return drive down to pick him up I rushed up to him and said "Hey, little guy, with all that scary rain, did you miss me?" He said "Uh, yeah, I guess" and took off toward the ice cream sandwiches being served in the mess hall. Again, six year old loyalty. Absence makes the heart look instead, for ice cream sandwiches.

Mason will attend NeOTez in July. Hopefully they will have one or two dry days this time, during which they can wash off some of the mud.
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P.S. Sorry for the Percy Jackson and the Olympians rip off in the title post (Camp Half-Blood). We just finished book five (The Last Olympian), and they tell me there are to be no more. Curse you Rick Riordan, and J.K. Rowling before you for getting us all wrapped up in your characters and then deciding to stop writing about them. I guess we'll have to look elsewhere for entertainment. If you have a kid and would like to read to him and are interested even a little bit in Greek Mythology, pick up Riordan's work. It'll have you googling Hecate and Hephaestus in no time! www.rickriordan.com

Photoshop for (me) Dummies

I took this with my point and shoot camera, and even though the noise (grain) is extremely high in the photograph, (flash didn't fire for some reason) I still liked the subject well enough to hang on to it. I decided it probably could use a few PS actions, just to jazz it up, although the resolution on the P&S isn't that high, and you have to have pretty high res images for most actions I've come across to work properly. Still I figured it didn't hurt to give a few of these lower ones a whirl, just to see.

The two actions I used are free and in my opinion, indispensable. The first, Touch of Light/Touch of Darkness, can be downloaded off Jodi Freedman's website, MCPActions.com, under the "Try It" section (you have to scroll down, but it's down there, trust me.) I ran TOLTOD, and then selected the paintbrush, and "painted" a touch of light on Stephen's face, to take out the shadow. I flattened the image by right clicking on it and selecting "flatten" (whoa, Kristi, slow down, you're too technical), and then ran Pioneer Woman's Define and Sharpen action, which can be downloaded from thepoineerwoman.com (just search her site). It brings out the color a bit better, improves clarity, etc.

Again, this shot would have been better with the 5D, but most pictures are better out of an SLR. However, gigantor and it's ridiculously phallic lens wont fit in my purse, and with the purse, baby, stroller, Starbucks Iced Tea Lemonade and diaper bag in my twelve hands I had to minimize something.

Yeah, yeah, I know the photo is still grainy, but I rather like the little guy in it. Sue me.

Lost in Translation

Monte bought Stephen some new white shorts with sailboats on them. Not a look for everyone, but Stephen makes them work. On the way out of the house, Monte said, "What do you think of the shorts?" I said "Yeah, he really pulls them off." Monte said, "Oh? He did?" I clarified, "No, no, I mean they look nice." Monte said, "Oh good. For a second there, I thought you meant he was flashing the neighbors."

I'll bet parents of girls never EVER have this kind of misunderstanding.