What!?

Orange Blossom Luna Tea Cakes. Sports Night. Pushing Daisies. Whisper Pink Mary Kay Eyeshadow. Spring Copper Glazewear. Veronica Mars. Dress it up petals rhinestone buttons. Starbucks Baked Berry Stellas.

What do these things have in common, besides the fact that you can no longer find them on the open market? Me. They were all my favorites. Favorite TV shows. Favorite make up, favorite food, favorite craft item. It's getting to be a joke of monumental proportions. Monte laughs every single time I say, "wow, I really like that" because he knows it's just a matter of time before the subject of my sentence is eliminated in all of its forms as if it never existed in the first place. Not just canceled or discontinued--expunged from the record, all traces removed like a HAZMAT team crossed with CIA spooks on a super secret covert ops elimination mission. It's bewildering. Seriously.

So, since it happens so often it can't be random, this is now an open letter to whomever or whatever is trying to eradicate everything Kristi Ellis likes. Dear evil nemesis, what gives? For real, dude, dial it down! Sorry I had to get all up in your grill. All my love, Kristi.

Since that's not likely to deter delicate baby sugar plum fairies, much less whatever ultimate evil matrix this is, look for the following things to go belly up or be removed from your lives soon: Tivo, iPhones, Scrapbooking in all it's forms, little league basketball, fruit, blue jeans and Starbucks Venti sized Black Tea Shaken Iced Tea Lemonade with three pumps of sweetener and light ice.

Meanwhile, American Idol and Major League Baseball (which I care absolutely nothing about) are still going strong. I'm just saying.